


We don't do sadness (not even a little bit)

by Hikary



Category: Death Note, Death Note & Related Fandoms
Genre: Big Brothers, Canonical Character Death, Coping, Family Issues, Implied Relationships, Linda is Lidner, Linda is the best big sister, Little Brothers, Revenge, SPK members are my precious babies, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings, Wammy's kids are a mess but I love them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-03
Updated: 2016-04-03
Packaged: 2018-05-31 00:09:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6447601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hikary/pseuds/Hikary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the end, Nate is just a kid who lost another family.</p>
<p>or</p>
<p>Linda doesn't do self-pity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We don't do sadness (not even a little bit)

**Author's Note:**

> Set after L’s death, but I need to work on the timeline because ~~it’s nearly six in the morning~~ I want the SPK to be already a thing but I’m not 100% sure it would fit.  
>  (I’m also 99,9% sure I don’t give a shit because Stephen is hot. BOOM!)
> 
> Title from Spring Awakening, quote by Goo Goo Dolls.
> 
> As I said in the tags, my life is basically based on the head canon than Lidner is actually Linda coming to the rescue - because Linda is the one and only, the almighty big sister, my pride and joy.

**WE DON’T DO SADNESS**

**(not even a little bit)**

 

**_You can’t fight the tears than ain’t coming._ **

**Iris**

 

Linda doesn't do self-pity. At least, not anymore. She quitted when she was five and nearly chocked on her own vomit after eating a chocolate chip cookie the boy with big rounded eyes had given her. Later, Linda would learn that feeding a human being who hasn't been eating for days a ridiculous amount of calories all at once is extremely dangerous. She also learned that the man with fluffy mustaches wasn't a sadistic, he was just well aware of the medical notion mentioned above. That's why Quillish Wammy gave her only a tiny plastic bottle with some sort of lightly salted water and an equally tiny straw to sip it on their way to Winchester.

 

Linda has come to the conclusion that self-pity is unhealthy, even more than pity itself. (She does pity only on Christmas, Easter and other big celebrations, except on the Barricade Day, when she curles up on her sofa and forces Rester to marathon every single Les Mis bootleg she owns, obviously crying during the whole process. Occasionally, Rester might shed a tear or two, for completely different reasons though.)

As a kid, she used to kick - literally - her brothers in the ass to teach them the basics of self-preservation. When you don't have a sigle goddamn social skill to interact with other humans, you should at least be able not to feel sorry for yourself.

She had been successful, as usual. Maybe she went a bit over the edge with Near, but hey, who doesn't make mistakes once in a while? Beside, Near was cute enough to make up for his attitute. (Many years laters, Linda will find out how right she was, watching Near falling asleep on Stephen's shoulder.)

 

And yet, there's a sense of failure in the space between herself and her little brother. Near is standing there, heartbroken for not being heartbroken. The sole fact that he is actually _standing_ makes everything wrong and painfull and as if they were all lost children again, fighting nightmares under the blankets, pretending not to hear each other's muffled cries in the next bed, telling stories without an ending to stay awake until dawn when someone was scared of falling asleep.

 

" Near." she murmurs, lovingly.

 

The newly-promoted smartest kid in the family turns, eyes wide and curious.

 

" Don't try too hard, whitey. "

" I am not."

" Of course you are. Ignore the others, we don't care about the others."

" We never did."

" I know, right?"

" Linda, is that...is that because I didn't care about him either? "

" Nonsense. It's because you are that kind of person - the kind of person who wears white at a funeral, because they think changing their clothes won't change the world. And that respects are to be paid in life and in living and in keeping on living. Because respect has nothing to do with clothes. The person you worshipped and admired the most was someone who could barely stand wearing shoes. I'm telling you it's okay. You don't need to cry or shout or wear black pajamas. Especially the last one, it would be extremely disturbing. Just- find your own way to mourn him. "

 

He did listen until the she was done and that's not an achievement Linda is going to underestimate. Most of the time, Near is able to predict the end of a sentence so he gets bored in the middle of it.

This time, Near pays attention, elaborates and, finally, stares back.

 

" I want to kill Kira."

 

It's wrong.

It's what L and Watari died for.

_And that's exactly why they died, too._

A small yet undeniable sense of pride fills her heart - warm, comforting, like chocolate fudge cake. She smiles a bleak smile and raises her coffee.

 

" And I'll drink to that."

 

**Author's Note:**

> I ship Near/Stephen so hard, I can't believe more than a few people out there agree :")
> 
> I spent my last year developing head canons/exploring the relationships between secondary characters with my friends, so if anything catches your interest and you want to chat about the kids, give me a shout :3


End file.
